Birthday Reflections

It’s my birthday! As I get older, I tend to use my birthday to reflect. Today, my first reflection is that I will not get a call from my dad to wish me a happy birthday. He has Alzheimer's, and that changes everything. Before Alzheimer's, we talked pretty much everyday.

It got me thinking about transitions. This is definitely a transition for me to not have my dad there to talk to and to pray with. I let myself feel it though. I let myself feel sad, nostalgic and a little lonely. I mourned the connection and the consistency of our relationship.

Then as I was walking around the block with my puppy, Theo, I feel pain in my knees still:( This is a transition for me too. I am frustrated that even after my new knee last year I’m not as mobile as I would like to be. I took some time to give myself some self-compassion for this. I find that if I let myself acknowledge the feelings and needs that are unmet, I resolve the angst in my mind and body and I feel more at peace.

Then I went to get the mail and got a letter from the Ontario College of Teachers alerting me to the fact that since I didn’t renew my membership (on purpose:) that I no longer had teaching privileges in Ontario…another transition!!!!

However, I want to end with gratitude. I am truly touched by all of you who have reached out to me on my birthday. It fills my needs for connection and being cared for. Thank you!