She said ‘yes’ again!
Many of the women I work with aren't struggling because they're weak or difficult.
They're struggling because nobody ever taught them this one thing: how to know what's okay for them — and how to actually say it.
And honestly? That gap shows up everywhere.
In the phone call that goes way too long. In the commitment made out of guilt. In the yes that should have been a no. Over time those small moments add up — into resentment, exhaustion, and a quiet disconnection from the people we care about most.
Terri Cole, psychotherapist and author of Boundary Boss, puts it plainly: unhealthy boundary patterns often come from confusion about what is your responsibility and what isn't. Most of us inherited those patterns without even realizing it.
So here's the reframe that I come back to again and again in my work:
A boundary isn't a wall. It isn't a confrontation. It's simply knowing what is okay — and not okay — for you. And saying it with clarity and kindness.
One of my clients (a composite, to protect privacy) was dreading her weekly calls with a family member. Long, draining conversations she didn't know how to shorten without causing hurt.
Her boundary wasn't "stop calling me."
It was "These calls mean a lot to me — I've got about 20 minutes today."
That one sentence changed everything. The relationship didn't suffer. It actually deepened — because she was finally present in it, instead of resentful.
This is the work I do through Communication for Connection. Helping people find the language for what's true for them — kindly, clearly, and without regret.
If this resonates with your own experience, I'd love to connect.