Observation or Evaluation?
In a previous blog, I introduced the idea that shifting from judgemental/evaluative statements to observational statements can make a shift in how you think about a person or situation. This is not easy to do however as so many of our statements have judgements woven in with the observation.
Remember:
Pure Observation is just the facts - what you saw/heard/did.
Evaluation adds judgement, interpretation, or labels.
Let’s do a little exercise that Marshall Rosenberg did in his book! Which ones are pure observation (no judgment), and which ones contain evaluation?
John was angry with me yesterday for no reason.
Sam didn’t ask for my opinion during the meeting.
Henry is aggressive with his sister.
Janice works too much.
When I was speaking you looked at your phone and started scrolling.
SPOILER ALERT!!! ANSWERS BELOW:)
John was angry with me yesterday for no reason.” EVALUATION ‘For no reason’ is an evaluation. Also, it is an evaluation to infer that John was angry. He might have been feeling hurt, scared, sad, or something else. Examples of observations without evaluation might be: “john told me he was angry,” or “John pounded his fist on the table.”
“Sam didn’t ask for my opinion during the meeting.” OBSERVATION
“Henry is aggressive with his sister.” EVALUATION ‘Aggressive’ is an evaluation. An observation without evaluation might be: “Henry hit his sister when she switched the television channel.”
“Janice works too much.” EVALUATION ‘Too much’ is an evaluation. An observation without evaluation might be: “Janice spent more than sixty hours at the office this week.”
“When I was speaking you looked at your phone and started scrolling.” OBSERVATION. It is what happened.
Pure Observation = what a video camera would capture.
Anything beyond that (why they did it, what it says about them) = evaluation
~Marshall Rosenberg from his book “NVC: A Language of Life”